Welcome to 10 things of note! This is my third (and favorite, might I add) edition. If you’re new here, in this style of newsletter, I dive into ten things about life lately, in no particular order, that mean something to me—big and small.
This week I’m fueled up with quite a bit of feminine rage, so prepare yourself for that, but I also talk about reading, post-Mormon podcasts, and what makes a good beach day.
P.S. I can talk to a blank wall, but I prefer talking to you! If anything in this newsletter sparks your conversational side, please leave a comment or send me a DM. I wanna hear what you have to say! Now, let’s get into it.
1. Ghosts
I’m a painfully slow reader. I am easily distracted, and I often prioritize my screen time. Buuuut, when I actually do it, I love it! I have been deep in my Dolly Alderton obsession, and I just finished Ghosts. On the surface, it’s about a 30-something Londoner, Nina, who gets ghosted mid-relationship and simultaneously has to reconcile with her father’s terminal illness. It sounds so serious. But, like all of Dolly’s books, I found it to be more of a witty commentary on the bonds of female friendship, inequity that’s pervasive in too many heterosexual relationships, and just enough British humor for me to mentally transport myself to London. You should read it!
2. I felt pretty shit after a meeting
Now that I’m freelance, the amount of meetings I have is…way less. In my old job, my Google calendar looked like Joseph’s coat of many colors. I don’t know if my one-woman show of a job has made me weird or if I simply didn’t get enough REM sleep the night before, but I had a meeting this week that I just left feeling terrible. In fact, I felt terrible before, during, and after. I was just off.
It was an important call with a new client, and though I was fully prepared and qualified, I stumbled over my words, nervously played with my hair, and just felt overall less than exemplary. This weirdly brought up a lot of insecurity for me, so I’ll just leave you with the reminders I had to give myself over and over that day, just in case you have been feeling a bit off too:
Off days are part of being a human being! You are probably overthinking it! Everyone is thinking about themselves more than you! It’s really not that serious.
3. Menorca
The good thing about living in Europe is that you can book little weekend trips to islands and such for your birthday. How fun! I did it for mine back in June, and now it was time for one of my friends to do the same.
We had gone to the same island last year (Menorca, to be specific), and it’s wild how different this trip was to the last. On the last trip, we stayed in what can only be described as a hotel equivalent of a cruise ship that had washed up on land. The clientele consisted of people I would imagine are from the towns where they scout for Love Island UK, who weren't even close to being hot enough to go on the show. There was also an aqua-jazzercise instructor who taught daily classes in the giant pool and had a knack for playing Shakira as loud as possible at the very moment I would log onto my remote meetings.
This trip, however, we actually rented a car, went to cute little dinners, and bought linen dresses in local shops. We played cards in the sun and drank cold wine. It just reminded me how some things really are worth a second round when you can give it fresh eyes and a new perspective.
4. Post-Mormonism and emotional labor
What I may lack in book consumption I more than make up for in podcast consumption (for better or worse). My last newsletter talked all about my curious nature, and where does that lead me? Post-Mormon deconstruction podcasts. I have nothing to say for myself (scratch that—I always have something to say). This particular podcast episode touches on Mormon themes, but it’s largely about women bearing the weight of emotional labor in partnerships and society at large. If any of these situations sound familiar to you, as a woman, I think you’ll feel very seen in this episode:
You resort to an “I’ll just do it myself” mentality to save yourself the work of explaining exactly how to do something for fear that it will be done wrong
You, your mom, and your sisters always end up planning Mother’s Day celebrations somehow?
You justify sus male behavior with “at least he’s trying” all too often
Hearing “well you’re just better at it” doesn’t feel as good as it’s meant to
Before I get accused of man hating, I think that this episode really opens up the discussion about how yes, men need to do better for women, but men really need to do better for men. Weaponized incompetence robs men of connection, confidence, and growth. That’s not a world I want to live in! I digress (for now).
5. I am in limbo
My most recent season of life was super intense. There were crazy hours, crazy job changes, crazy existential crises. Now, the dust is settling. On one hand, a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and on the other hand, I’m uncomfortable. You know those times where nothing just seems quite concrete? From the country I live in to my relationship status to who employs me, things are just…gray.
If you’ve been reading this newsletter for a while, you know that much of my life has been my journey to accept the gray for what it is without strong-arming it into becoming black or white, but it’s worth noting that lately I’m feeling very limbo-ish. The positive? There’s always something exciting on the horizon. The negative? I’d really like to know what the hell it is.
6. Indisputable facts about beaches
Speaking of islands and all that, it’s hot as hell on Planet Earth™ right now. This directly translates to how much time I spend at the beach. I feel I’ve become somewhat of a beach expert after four years in the Mediterranean, so I thought I’d pass on a couple nuggets of wisdom I’ve collected in my time:
The harder you work for your beach, the better it is
Do not even think about having a beach day without a bag of very salty potato chips
If you’re wondering whether you should reapply sunscreen, you should
If you aren’t playing mermaid, you’re not living
Going topless is fun
Freeze your water bottle the night before so it stays cold
Don’t bring anything valuable (especially in Barcelona)
Stop worrying so much about your body and drink a beer for goodness sake
7. She’s an actor, dahling
I grew up as a theater kid, I have always loved to sing, and I feel like I peaked when I played Liesl in Sound of Music. But, that’s about where it stops for me. All my jobs somehow recruit me to be the face of their cringey TikTok accounts (if you love me, you won’t go searching for them), and recently, the cringe got taken to a whole new level.
One of my friends sent me an Instagram story of a casting agency looking for native English speakers for a paid shoot, so I thought I’d throw my hat in the ring for a little extra cash. One thing led to another and I was being ushered into my new wardrobe, sitting down for hair and makeup, and reviewing a script with my name on it, all alongside two other actors trying to make it full time. So, if you soon see me as the face of a tutoring program, no you didn’t. Here’s to trying new things! Even when they’re cringe!
8. Claiming characters
When I go to my sister’s house around dinnertime, one of my favorite parts is getting to read her kiddos their bedtime stories—that is if they aren’t too sassy to demand that Mom does it instead. I did not make the cut on my last visit, but I was still allowed to listen in, and as my sister was reading, my niece and nephew did something that we used to do all the time as kids: claiming characters.
I’m Peppa! I’m Rubble! I’m the Little Blue Truck! My sister and I did it more often while watching Mary-Kate & Ashley (I’m Mary-Kate, btw), but it made me wonder if this is something all kids do—calling out who they most identify with, as quickly as they can, in their panicky little voices, making it known that they want to feel seen and represented in the story. Is this something you did as a kid too? It just made me think about how impactful representation is, even from a young age, and what makes kids declare their own character with such urgency.
9. Color season analysis
You would think that after twenty-eight years of existing as a woman on Planet Earth™ I would be surprised when capitalism comes up with a new way of giving women something to be insecure about only to turn a profit, but ya know what? Here I am! Once again surprised. The current culprit? Color season analysis.
My TikTok has been flooded with videos scrolling through images of beautiful women with the words “NOT HER COLORS” or “DOES NOT LOOK GOOD IN PINKS” over them in tacky, in-app fonts when halfway through, the viewer (me) is meant to let out a manufactured sigh of relief when at last, this beautiful woman is dressing in the colors that are deemed suitable for her features, skin type, etc.
Then, like clockwork, women race to the link in the bio of the video creator to book a consultation now that they must know if they are a soft autumn, cool winter, light spring, or whatever made-up box we’ve opted to squeeze into.
It’s all presented under the guise of empowering women to dress themselves in a way where they look and feel their best, but in reality, it’s a thinly veiled way to criticize women, heighten their insecurities, and make a few bucks in the process.
When will we simply let women…exist?
10. Embracing a slower pace
Summer in Spain is somehow simultaneously the busiest and deadest season. There are a million tourists everywhere wearing their stupid little straw fedoras and walking at a snail’s pace, and even though they walk slower than any human should be allowed, they bring this buzzy, gotta-see-all-the-things energy to the city all summer long.
But, when August rolls around, the locals finally say “I’ve had enough!”, and they jaunt off to the mountains for a month. Unless you’re me. I’m staying here. The city slooooows down, and while it’s annoying to to waltz up to your favorite coffee shop only to realize that it will be closed until September, I am trying to take it as an opportunity to slow down along with my surroundings. Whether that’s a lighter workload, easier mornings, or midday trips to the sea, I’m doing my best to view August as a gift, not an annoyance.
If you’ve made it this far, you’re a real one. The fact that you read my writing means the world to me. “Are you mad at me?” is a free publication, but, let’s be honest, I’m a working gal! If you’re so inclined to show the love via a pledge or paid subscription, I’ll name my firstborn after you.