Welcome to “Are you mad at me?”!
A newsletter dedicated to the question I shoot out into the void pretty much every waking second of every day.
I’m the type who has a million things on my brain at all times, but historically, at least half those thoughts have revolved around the opinions (or at least perceived opinions) that others have about me. Yeah, it’s a little narcissistic, I know. Moving on.
I’ve lived my life in the land of shoulds.
Should I have said that? Should I wear this, even though it looks better on her? Should I slide into his DMs? SHOULD I HAVE ANOTHER COFFEE? You get the gist.
What I didn’t realize is the long term effects of letting these questions become the background noise of my mind. It’s sort of like when you fall asleep with Friends playing every night, so when you stay somewhere that’s not home, you just end up lying there…uncomfortably awake with your thoughts. And guess what? A bitch is tired.
Turns out, it’s pretty exhausting always caring what others think. It’s even more exhausting when you let their opinions trump your own, every time. It’s the easiest way to let your sense of self slip away, without even noticing.
So, you guessed it. This is me:
Putting my foot down!
Embracing exploration!
or whatever other whimsical metaphor you want to insert here!
With as many exclamation points as I wish, might I add. Basically, I no longer have the capacity to defer to the masses. I’m taking a seat at the table, and I’m digging into the details of my identity. I hope you’ll pull up a chair, too.
This newsletter has a selfish ambition; I owe it to myself to figure out what my own terms are, so I can live by them. But that said, I hope you get something out of this, too!
I’m planning on sending these out on Sundays, so my dream fantasy is that you’re cozied up with this newsletter, your favorite warm beverage, and an obscenely fluffy blanket on a lazy Sunday afternoon, joining in the conversation and mulling it over for yourself (vibe inspo below). But, if you read it on the toilet, that’s okay too.
Anyway, I hope this newsletter was okay! No worries if not! Talk soon! Bye!
Can't wait to see where you go with this!